Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
