dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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