The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
