Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize