I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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