I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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