That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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