Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Taylor Swift is so right about you.

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(281): View more from Texas

I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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(513): View more from Ohio

There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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(406): View more from Montana

she pinky promised me she was 18

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.

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(269): View more from Michigan

My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.

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