You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.