Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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