dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
