DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize