well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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