But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
