Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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