wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize