Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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