Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
