mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
These tits shall not be calmed
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
