we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
