I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
