Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
