So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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