I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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