We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
