One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
