Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
