OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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