I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
