My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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