don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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