I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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