I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
