You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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