I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
