I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
