I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
