i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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