"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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