wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bring me that man meat
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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