remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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