i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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