kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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