my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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