hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
