I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
