i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
