I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
