ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
