it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
