he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
