I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
These tits shall not be calmed
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?