It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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