yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you