I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I need a burrito and a hug.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
