I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
