Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
