i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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