In the future we'll all be gay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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