I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
