In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
