My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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