the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorry my hands just texted you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
